The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: My Experience With Online Dating

After divorcing for about 9 months, I decided that I was ready to start reappearing again. I knew I was not ready for a committed relationship, but I thought I wanted to start meeting people again … for the first time in 25 years.

I knew several people who were on Match.com and decided to give it a try. My first profile was probably written unconsciously to divert potential contenders. I made it very clear that I was just looking, but I did not talk much about what I was looking for. I'm not even sure I know! I included some photos and I went back to see what would happen.

I have received an email from many guys and I have many early dates (and by "dates", which I mean, it is "the first meetings "). I learned a few things. Meeting for coffee or drinks the first time is best to meet for dinner. I know very quickly if the person is someone I might be interested in or not, and even though I can conduct a conversation with most people, dinner can seem like a very long evening if it is not. 39, there is absolutely no interest. One of my friends encouraged Me to be open to all and not to judge people in advance by their photos or profile. Bad advice. I have never been pleasantly surprised by someone looking better than their bad pictures. For example, a guy I met had images that were not too bad. It is described as "follicularly challenged, but I have a small pony tail on the back that you can not see". I thought he was joking and had a good sense of humor. That 's where I was wrong. The guy was wearing a skullet! He was bald on top, but had left the rest of his hair digging long enough to slide it into a high pony tail, which began where the hair on top of his head ended. The ponytail was about four inches long and hung in a small curlicue on the bottom of her head. I saw him walking in the bar in front of me and almost to the left, but I decided that it would be too rude. He was really a nice guy, but I could not go over the skullet.

I have also found that the inability to write a decent profile corresponds to an inability to conduct a conversation. The same applies to e-mail. Although I do not mind a direct approach like "Beautiful photos, I appreciated your profile. Would you like to meet drinks and conversations?", I will not reply to the email that says "You are So pretty, will you speak? " Or, "How are you tonight?" Maybe it sounds hard, but I think if that is all they can bring to the table, we probably will not have much to talk about.

After about 6 months, I reorganized my profile, added a new photos, and I described myself and the guy type that I was looking for in more detail. I am sure that it helped me to have more clarity on what I wanted because I started getting better results. However, I think there are a lot of men who only look at the pictures. I get an email from guys whose profile says they like fishing and camping, nascar and hunting and I wonder if they even read my profile. Although there is nothing wrong with one of these activities, none of this does fit with me. I also declare that I am an empty nerve and I love this phase of my life. A guy with three school age children at home is not going to be a good match for me, but that does not stop them from trying. My upper age limit is 55 years. Yes, I am 52 years old, but unfortunately, I found that many men began to have a little age in the mid 50 's. I am not an old 52 "While I realize that I will not compete with a 35 or 40 year old, I will not try, I want a man who still thinks young and who is active, Having taken care of himself along the way. I'm not saying that it needs to be buff or look like George Clooney; It's good if it's bald or has gray hair, I'm aware of my own faults. I had an e – mail from a guy who said in his profile "I 'm 65 years old, look 55 and act 45", then describe all the juvenile things that he does. I am sure this is at least partially true, but for me, it looked 70 years old. My father is 70 years old and I do not try to meet my father or any of his friends.

I also say in my profile That I am more interested in a man than by what he has. And that is true. I do not care about his Harley, his boat or his sports car. A guy I met, who informed me all about his collection of cars, mentioned during the evening that he was very conservative. I said I'm a lot more in the middle of the road. In one way or another, we approached gay marriage, and before I could express my opinion, he said that there was a gay couple, both of them Doctors, who lived in his neighborhood when his children were young. He said he would not let his children pass in front of the couple's house because he did not want his children "to witness their deviant behavior". Oh. My God. I almost touched the roof. I said, "Let me tell you something, my son is gay, he is not deviant, and I really appreciate such a narrow thought." I did say so, but I was angry. He quickly tried to back up and recover, but that was for me. Another guy sent me an email stating that he had been very lucky financially, that he had a lot of money and would like to be able to travel with me and take care of me. 1) This is a scary introduction email, 2) I do not need to be taken care of, and 3) The guy looked like an old man. I ignored his message. A few weeks later, I got another message saying that he had written before and too bad, I did not answer because he had won 13 million Of dollars in the Illinois lottery in 2007 and that he would have liked to have shared his Good Fortune with me but obviously I was not interested. Yes, you're right. I'm not interested, I would not have liked if that was 100 million dollars! I also did not respond to this message.

In total, my experience on Match was pretty positive. I met a lot of really nice people, I had fun. I met a few guys that I dated for a short time, and I keep seeing. I met the guy I see shortly after reorganizing my profile. It is interesting to note that he possesses all the qualities that I have said in a man. I realized that I am ready for more of a committed relationship but I am by no means interested in getting married or living with anyone. But I want a companion. At present, we take very slowly, but I am open to explore the possibilities.



Source by Elisabeth Elsworth

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